SasuSaku: A new Challenge
by ChasingKyuubi109
Summary: After Sasuke returns from Orochimaru's, he and Sakura become inseperable. But when a drastic mistake is made, they realize that Sasuke's clan ressurection plans are coming faster then they planned for...OOC-ness! R&R the button won't bite u!
1. Chapter 1 Work

**Discalmer- In my dreamland, Naruto belongs to me, but sadly this is the real world and I'm just a fan...enjoy the story anyway!**

**Hello and welcome to the story that currently has no name. My name is **_**beep**_**but I go by T-sama. I'll be narrating the beginnings of each chapter so enjoy!**

**We enter our story with Sakura Haruno and her boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha. At the moment they're very busy with…um….paperwork yes that's it! But in this story they will face extraordinary challenges as a result of….too much paperwork, so without further ado-**

"Shut-up! Me and Sasuke are in the middle of something!"

"**Right, sorry."**

_**Chapter one-work**_

It all started with Sakura working hard and Sasuke barely working. Sakura raked her hand through her boyfriend's sexy raven hair that remained unchanged by the years that separated from his childhood and now. Other things however had changed. A lot. Sasuke was bored of barely doing anything so he flipped Sakura over until she was underneath him, showing them both who the dominant one was. Sakura gave a moan of total ecstasy.

"Sasuke-kun!" She squealed as he squeezed every place he could reach. "I…can't…breathe!"

"Too bad," Sasuke murmured, his sweaty face inches from her own. He claimed her lips with his and she was sure her air supply would be cut off for certain.

Currently they were under the covers of Sakura's puny twin sized bed, their naked bodies pressed together as they made sweet love to each other. The air around them felt suffocating, but they didn't care. Sakura had just moved in to a new apartment and she insisted on Sasuke coming over _every_ night to keep her company…and have fun in the process.

They were both twenty-two. Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura's parents, the random guy Sasuke and Gaara killed by sitting on him, and pretty much everyone else didn't know that they were together as a couple. Though Kakashi had commented that they were around each other a lot more than before Sasuke left Konoha. Sakura had smiled and looked the other way while Sasuke had gotten a satisfied smirk on his face and started drooling as he thought of the nighttime activities. Luckily Kakashi hadn't been paying attention and didn't notice anything suspicious.

From her position underneath Sasuke, Sakura got a good look at the clock. "Fuck," she swore. "It's six thirty in the morning. I have to go to the hospital for my shift in an hour." She pushed Sasuke forcefully (because he wouldn't stop trying to have sex with her) off of her. Unfortunately since the bed was so puny, Sasuke fell onto the floor.

"Holy-!" He screamed. "Why do you have wood floor! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit…. ECT…ect."

"Go wash your mouth out!" Sakura yelled, getting up and punching his face further into the floor. (Such a hypocrite)

"SHITSHITSHITSHIT!" Sasuke raised his voice as blood poured out of his mouth and nose. "I can't breathe! Too much blood! Woman you're crazy!"

"NANI?!" Sakura screamed. (So much screaming!)

"I love you my big boobed goddess," Sasuke got to his knees and kissed Sakura's feet.

"I love you too my god of balls," Sakura sighed, patting Sasuke's head and helping him to his feet. She couldn't afford to stay mad for long. He had really huge…yeah.

Sasuke wrapped his arms (arms r sexy) around Sakura's neck and began kissing her passionately anywhere and everywhere. Sakura moaned with pleasure as he reached her lips, but (with great will power) shoved him away.

"Ugh," she moaned. "I'm serious Sasuke! If I go to work late I'll probably loose my job. Same goes with showing up looking like I've been raped by an ape. Why do you have to be so sexy?"

"Could say the same thing to you," Sasuke purred.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

"O.k.…sheesh," Sasuke whimpered, grimacing. Sakura was a jonin, but when she wasn't on missions she worked at the hospital. Her shift usually went from seven thirty A.M. to eight P.M. Her missions were usually a few days or a week. So basically she was busy a lot. But at night she was all his. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sasuke on the other hand had just recently gotten promoted to ANBU level. Since he was still new at the job, he hadn't been on a mission for a while. He'd retuned to Konoha three years ago and just been allowed off probation a few months ago. Most of the villagers still hated him, so he spent the majority of his time with Sakura and when he wasn't with her, he was quite mopey. And of course there were those rare occasions that he would go eat ramen with Naruto or team seven would go on a mission together. Life was good.

Sakura strode down the hall, still butt naked, to take a shower. Sasuke sighed and began to look for his boxers so he could bet dressed. He located them tangled with Sakura's bra in the small closet. Slipping them on, he peeked around for the rest of his clothes. Sakura's room was a mess. Sasuke sweat dropped and thought, _this might take me a while. _


	2. Chapter 2 THE EVIL SHEEP IN THE CLOSET

**Guess whooooooo? It's T-sama again!!!!! YAY! Pocky is goodly!!!**

_**Ahem!!! **_

**Oh, sorry Lynnie-sama. Audience, that's the author-my girlfriend- Lynnie-sama!!!**

_**Tory get on with it or I won't pay you!**_

**You don't anyway!**** And hey you just spoiled my name!**

_**Do you want me to hurt you???? **_

**Ok, OK, put the book down you psycho! Anyway in this chapter Sakura and Sasuke are enjoying their five-star restaurant breakfast when they are interrupted by a mysterious visitor…oooo….who could it be????**

Chapter two- THERE'S AN EVIL SHEEP IN THE CLOSET! And Sakura's brain overworks! 

"So what are you going to do after I leave?" Sakura asked over the sizzle of bacon in the pan. Sasuke sat face down on the table, drooling, without a shirt on. (He couldn't find it in Sakura's room of messyness!) At the sound of his girlfriend's voice, he jerked into attention. "I need coffee," He moaned, putting his head down again. "And I'm probably going to catch up on sleep today since I sure didn't get any last night."

Sakura giggled. She set a cup of steaming coffee in front of him and then went back to the stove to work on the bacon. Sasuke opened one eye sleepily and gave a happy grunt. He downed the coffee in five seconds and kneeled next to Sakura, hugging her knees and begging for more. She glared teasingly and stuck out her lip in a pretend pout.

"I need some too Sasuke-kun," She complained like a little girl.

"We could share it," Sasuke offered, not taking his eyes off the coffee maker.

"No, I want it all!" Sakura replied greedily.

"Power hungry bitch."

"Like you're one to talk."

" Demented witch."

"Horny bastard."

"You know you like it."

"You are going too f-"

"SAKURA-CHAN!" An annoying shout from the entryway interrupted their fun little argument.

Sakura cursed. "I totally forgot Naruto was coming to pick me up and take me to work today," she snapped.

Sasuke jumped up and looked around like a scared bunny (Bunnies r awesome ) "Where do I hide?" He hissed frantically.

"In the closet of course!" Sakura snap-whispered. "And you call yourself an ANBU!" She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you after work!"

Sasuke scurried back to her room as if Orochimaru was chasing him butt naked intent on buttraping him so hard so fast so painful that his butt would be chafed. (Randomness)

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto threw open he door just as Sakura had finished putting on her sandals.

"Hi Naruto!" she said as calmly as she could. Her heart was pounding so aggressively loud that she was surprised Naruto didn't notice anything. Plus her skin was covered in a sheet of sweat. Thank god Naruto hadn't smartened up that much since their genin days.

"You know I went to Sasuke's house earlier to see if he would go with us, but he wasn't home. I can't think of anywhere else he could be. I know he doesn't have any mi-"

"No! He's not here! Why would you suggest such a stupid idea? Why would Sasuke come here? You know Naruto I should really check to make sure you're not suffering from some kind of mental disability," Sakura was rambling and couldn't seem to shut up. "Is it hot in here to you? Cause I'm like burning up! We should crack a window. Or just leave. I mean I don't want to be late or anything." She began nervously edging toward the door. Naruto unfortunately wasn't that stupid.

"Are you ok Sakura-chan?" He questioned, stepping towards her in concern.

"Perfect! Never better! Do you think sheep or buffalo are uglier?" Sakura's brain was overworking. She suddenly slumped forward unsteadily and Naruto caught her, staggering slightly from the force of her fall.

"I don't think you should go in to work today Sakura-chan," he said, putting his arm under her back and hoisting her up. "I'll carry you too your room and you can lay down, ok?" He took a few steps into the hall that led to Sakura's bedroom.

"NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T SEE MY ROOM! THERE'S AN EVIL SHEEP HIDING IN THE CLOSET!!!!"

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED THE EXTERMINATOR YET????" Naruto yelled back alarmed.

"BECAUSE IT'S TOO CUTE!" Sakura screamed.

_If it were anyone but Sakura…_ Naruto thought. He sighed heavily. "Fine let's go," He said, setting Sakura gently on the ground. They left for the hospital in an awkward silence.


	3. Chapter 3 What the hell is wrong?

**The title basically says all which is good because you might not have a narrator anymore-Lynnie, love, it's a lot easier to talk when you're not trying to shove a stick up my…………………nose……OMG PUT THE GODDAMN BOOK DOWN!!! ARE YOU MENTAL WOMAN????? **

**Ahem….anyway something's wrong with Sakura and Sasuke is an idiot enjoy! OW!!!**

Chapter three WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 

BLORTCH! BLORTCH! KOFF KOFF-groan "Sasuke-kun…" BLORTCH!

"Sakura?" Sasuke stumbled blearily out of Sakura's bed shortly after waking up and realizing that Sakura was no longer curled up next to him. It was six in the morning and strange noises coming from the bathroom had interrupted his nice deep sleep. He staggered towards the bathroom and pounded on the door.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura unlocked the door and opened it a sliver. "What do you need?"

"Are you ok?" Sasuke asked. "I heard weird noises and-"

"Everything's fine," Sakura assured him, cutting his explanation short. "Go back to sleep baby."

Sasuke was left to stare at the thick piece of wood that Sakura had slammed in his face. (How rude!) He raised his fist to knock again, but the strange noises returned and he stopped to listen. Then his eyes widened.

"Sakura are you puking?"

"Of course no-" BLORTCH!

"Open the door before I break it down."

"All right, all right, give me a sec." BLORTCH! FLUSH.

The entrance to the bathroom was pulled open and Sakura, clad only in a short tank top that exposed her stomach and some pajama shorts, stared up into the eyes of her boyfriend. Sasuke pushed past her into the bathroom. There was a puddle of dark liquid on the floor that he narrowly avoided and the toilet was covered in similar gunk. The trash can and sink had their fair share as well. He turned back to Sakura and inspected her as if seeing her for the first time.

Her pajamas were a little ruffled and her face was awfully white. Sasuke had her in his arms in an instant. "What happened?"

"Uhnnnnnn," Sakura moaned. "You moved too fast." BLORTCH! Sasuke was now covered in the remains of Sakura's dinner (a nice rice dish with carrots and broccoli).

"SAKURA!" He yelled, barely noticing the puke as Sakura put her hand of her mouth, turned to the toilet and stuck her head inside. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know," Sakura bawled. She reached out to him, but at the last minute, her face going whiter than a sheet, she pushed him away and disappeared into the trashcan. Sasuke pulled her into his lap (trashcan and all). He gently stroked her hair and rubbed her back, not seeming to notice her convulsing and retching.

"It's been happening for a week and I don't know why," Sakura wailed, resurfacing from the can. Tears spread down her face like a wildfire and she was dangerously close to hysterics.

"Shhhh-shhh," Sasuke shushed. "It's ok. You're probably just stressed from work. How about you take today off and we'll go talk to Tsunade about this, ok?"

"Ok," Sakura calmed down. "Thank-you Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke held her at arms length. "Damn woman," He whistled. "You sure are a mess."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Sakura screamed, pulling out of his grasp and glaring.

"It was a joke! A joke I swear!" Sasuke whimpered.

"Really? OK." Sakura settled back into his arms contently.

"Such high maintenance," Sasuke muttered, so Sakura couldn't hear him.

Apparently she did anyway. "UCHIHA SASUKE!"

"Gomen! Gomen!" Sasuke pleaded for his life.

"Poor Sasuke-kun's a little confused," Sakura cooed, pinching his cheek (his face people gosh! Im not that perverted though I may seem it!) "I would never ever hurt you."

"R-right," Sasuke laughed shakily. In Sasuke's mind: WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!"

**_A/N- Thanx for the reviews everyone-hope u liked chapter three even with Tory's crappy narration-he's kind of an idiot _**

**I am not!!!!!**

**_Ahem...right..._**


	4. Chapter 4 I'M BLUE UCHIHA

Yosh……i…..yoshi from the video game!! I love that game! 

_**Tory-kuuuuuuuuuuuuun!**_

**Oh crap she's coming! Where do I hide-what do I do???? Erm…right….so in this chapter, oh hi Lynnie**

_**Hi Tory-are you narrating?**_

**Yup, just doing my job. Telling the audience what Tsunade's verdict is about Sakura-chan's condition. **

_**Oh I thought you were talking about Mario**_

**Yoshi actu-SHIT**

_**AHA I got you- you weren't working!!!! Get your ass over here!!!!!!!**_

**Enjoy your chapter and be thankful you're not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! **

Chapter four- I'M BLUE UCHIHA! 

Sasuke waited anxiously outside the examining room in the hospital. Sakura was inside with Tsunade, Shizune, and (don-don-don) Ton-ton.

Finally the door swung open and Sakura walked out, flaming mad.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" She screamed, punching Sasuke into the ceiling. "I'M BLUE! (If I were green I would die) BLUE UCHIHA, BLUE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!"

"No," Sasuke choked out.

"IT MEANS YOU FORGOT A CONDOM!"

"What?" Sasuke yelled, earning himself a bitch-slap. "What does blue have to do with a condom?" (Clueless)

Suddenly and without any warning, Sakura curled up in a fetal position on the ground and began to bawl. "You'll be happy," She sniffed, bitterly. "You wanted an heir."

"A…. heir?" Sasuke questioned, again stumped by her odd behavior. "Wait-you don't mean…"

"OF COURSE I DO! WHY ELSE WOULD I BE PUKING EVERY FUCKING MORNING? USE YOUR STUPID HEAD! THAT'S WHAT IT'S THERE FOR!" Sakura kicked Sasuke with such force that he flew backwards twenty feet and hit the opposing wall that dared to stop him. He let out a very unmanly squeal and clutched his…ahem.

"THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT IT'S GOING TO FEEL LIKE FOR ME IN ABOUT NINE MONTHS!" Sakura screeched.

"…" Sasuke couldn't speak…literally.

"NOW WE HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE WE'RE TOGETHER YOU DICKHEAD!"

"…" Still nothing.

"But hey it could have happened to anyone," Sakura became cheerful. "Wanna go meet Naruto for ramen?"

Sasuke groaned and let his chin drop to his chest. It was going to be a long nine months.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Kakashi and Naruto yelled at the same time.

Sakura smiled, sheepishly. "Pregnant," She muttered to her feet.

"WELL WHOSE IS IT?!" Naruto yelled at the same time Kakashi shouted, "FOR HOW LONG?!"

That's when Sasuke came up behind Sakura and put his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head. As planned. "Only for about a month," Sakura replied in answer to Kakashi's question.

"SASUKE?" Naruto screamed.

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO…?" Kakashi exclaimed.

"About a year," Sakura responded guiltily. "Or maybe two."

"And you didn't tell us why?" Naruto fumed.

"For fear of this reaction dobe," Sasuke said.

"BUT…BUT…BUT!" Naruto stammered.

"So you guys were naughty and now Sakura's pregnant?" Kakashi asked, just to clarify things a little.

"It's all because Mr. Hippy Hippo over there forgot a condom," Sakura finished glared at Sasuke…ahem…Mr. Hippy Hippo. (Randomness )

"_I_ forgot a condom?" Sasuke yelled. "It was you!" _Mr. Hippy Hippo?_ He thought, baffled.

"Why would I?" Sakura retorted. "I never wanted to be pregnant. You on the other hand wanted an heir for your stupid clan. I've known that since we were twelve." (I can imagine her using her brainiac voice for this part)

"But…but…but!" Sasuke stammered.

"That's what I thought," Sakura seemed pleased with herself as she pulled on Sasuke's ear saying, "Come on Mr. Hippy Hippo. We need to have a serious talk about your lack of responsibility."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sasuke wailed.

A/N-hey everyone! I was thinking I'd try to update at least once a week (maybe sooner of you beg XD) Sorry for the delay between Chpt. 3 and 4, the computer was being a tard yesterday so...anyway I'll have chapter Five up by at next Tuesday at the latest!


	5. Chapter 5 Problems

Well I bet you weren't expecting that….so let us review our facts in case your brain has had an overload that replaced the chapters of this story with memories from your potty training days….Sakura Haruno is now impregnated (oooo proper word oooo what now!) with Sasuke Uchiha's child. Most of the Konoha peeps now are faced with the reality that Sasuke and Sakura have done naughty things…and Naruto seems to have a problem with that….hmmmm….. Anyway I'm sick of this little flashback mode so on with the story….. I said on with the story! Oh right I haven't told you what this chapters about yet!!!! Heheheheheh….don't tell Lynnie-sama! Now where is my script…um…..oh here it is-chapter five! clears throat As our story continues, Tsunade spots a problem with Sasuke and Sakura's relationship….besides the fact that he's an evil Orochimaru traitor person…. Chapter five-PROBLEMS 

"Damn it!" Sakura yelled, running into the bathroom. "I just ate breakfast!"

Sasuke emerged from the bedroom just in time to see the bathroom door slam shut. He groaned as he heard a loud BLORTCH! He'd wanted to get in there and take a shower before Sakura started her usual morning routine. "Gotta go ask Tsunade how long that's going to last," he muttered to himself.

Sakura was now three months pregnant, her stomach starting to become steadily more prominent. She was still throwing up almost every morning, usually before Sasuke got to take his shower. (Sasuke-sobs)

They'd moved into Sasuke's house. He'd inherited the Uchiha district when he turned eighteen and had taken ownership of it as soon as he was off probation. He lived in his old house, but had tried to avoid being there. Before Sakura had moved in it'd just been one big painful memory. The rooms were cold and void of any furniture. His footsteps had echoed through the vacant house singing out his pain and reminding him of his past. Now it was full of sunshine and no room seemed too empty or too painful to be in. (Cheesy I know) Except Itachi's, but that door was kept closed.

Sasuke also noticed that he was suddenly forced to share (a lesson he'd never quite learned). His bed, his room, TV, coffee maker, house, bathroom, and the list goes on were not only his now.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura's voice jolted him out of his trance. He rolled his eyes. Trotting (yes trotting) over to the bathroom, he yanked the door open.

"I missed the toilet again," Sakura moaned. "Can you get me some new clothes?"

Sasuke averted his eyes from her vomit covered red tank top and baggy black capris. Luckily she wasn't wearing her med Nin coat and that went unharmed. He went into their (still felt weird to him saying that) bedroom and picked out Sakura's skimpiest tank top and shortest mini skirt plainly for his own amusement.

"SASUKE!" Sakura screeched, bashing him over the head as she usually did to Naruto when he didn't use his brain. "I have to go to work! Not a strip club!"

"Gomen!" Sasuke once again pleaded for his life. He scurried back and picked out some more appropriate clothes.

"Sakura?" Tsunade called. Sakura jumped, half way through healing a little girl's broken arm, and turned.

"Yes Tsunade-sama?"

"Can I speak to you in my office?"

"Hai, just let me finish up with my patient."

"O.K. but please hurry up."

"I will."

Ten minutes later, Sakura sat down in one of Tsunade's uncomfortable plastic chairs and while Tsunade herself faced her across a wooded desk stacked high with papers of all sorts. Sakura squirmed in her seat, anxious to know what the hokage wanted of her.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Tsunade called. The door slid open to reveal a slightly P.O.-ed Sasuke.

Sakura bolted out of her chair. "Sasuke-kun!" She cried. "What are you doing here?"

"Uchiha you're late!" Tsunade barked. Sasuke winced at her sharp tone. He had a feeling she hadn't forgiven him for betraying Konoha and getting Sakura pregnant did nothing to get him on her good side.

"I was in the middle of training," Sasuke mumbled, darkly.

"Sit down," Tsunade commended. Sakura and Sasuke complied, scared by her yelly-ness.

"What do you want?" Sasuke snapped.

Tsunade got up calmly, raised her fist, and punched Sasuke into a wall. "Shut-up, so I can tell you," She yelled.

Sakura rushed over to Sasuke and pulled him out of the wall. Two of his teeth were missing, his nose was bleeding profusely, and he had a black eye.

"Bunnies are very pretty," he said, very intelligently before dropping to the ground. Sakura kneeled beside him, trying to wake him. Finally he opened his good eye and muttered, "I'm listening."

Tsunade looked ready to slap him again just for fun, but she forced herself to be calm and sat back down. Sakura remained the floor and tugged Sasuke's head into her lap, beginning to repair the damage.

"You two realize you have a problem right?" Tsunade asked.

Sakura looked guilty and confused at the same time. Sasuke managed to raise his head and give her questioning gaze. This was ruined by the fact that his eyes were crossed. Tsunade chuckled before she could stop herself, but quickly regained her strict composure.

"I don't think I quite understand what our problem is, Tsunade-sama," Sakura replied. Sasuke nodded along

"You are pregnant Sakura," She stated simply. "And living with Sasuke. Have you told your parents yet, by the way? No? Well that will be a nice surprise for them when they get back. Anyway, the question is: do you want your child being born into a world where its parents aren't even married?"

Sakura's jaw dropped open. Sasuke passed out from shock, came to a few seconds later and yelled, "WHAT?!"

"Tsunade-sama," Sakura said once she'd recovered slightly. "We were planning on waiting until after the baby was born to get married so it could be part of the ceremony."

"Marriage? Wedding? The?" Sasuke's small peebrain was having trouble comprehending. He was speaking in a very high-pitched girly voice as if he'd been kicked in…Yea…"Why can't it just be sex? And coffee? And wild sheep hiding in the closet and chewing up all my boxers? And love? Why do we need to get married? "

Sakura glared. She stood and Sasuke's head banged on the floor with a sick thud. "Owie," He whined.

"Did you really think it could stay this way?" Sakura thundered. "And what wild sheep are you talking about?"

"The ones-oh never mind," Sasuke snapped. "And no I didn't think it would stay this way, but I _wanted_ it to. Because I don't think we need a certificate to prove we're in love." He got up clumsily and wrapped his arms around Sakura's enlarged middle.

"That's really sweet Sasuke-kun," Sakura sighed. "But your nice little hug is pushing against my bladder and I think I just peed a little."

Sasuke released her. "Sorry," He mumbled as she rushed out to find a bathroom.

Tsunade stared at her desk. Sasuke stared at the wall. Naruto was singing in the shower. ("Hey leave me out of this!")

"So…" Sasuke started.

"Don't even try," Tsunade snapped.

Sasuke closed his mouth and didn't speak again until Sakura came back. "Let's get out of here," He whispered in her ear. They left after a brief goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6 Mocha

**Dude I'm tired today so I'll keep it short…man Lynnie worked me hard last night….**

_**Whack you make it sound perverted I'm only sixteen dammit! **_

**Right sorry…..Anyway….As Sakura's pregnancy wears on….it is decided by Sasuke's developing child that she will eat strange bizarre foods that should be illegal! Oh and Naruto gets a girlfriend…of course he has to choose the one girl whose gonna get him in trouble with her ultra overprotective cousin!!!! Trust Naruto to do something stupid like that!**

_**I happen to think it's cute….like Romeo and Juliet**_

**Yea cuz they were **_**sooooooo**_** smart**

_**TORY-KUN!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Chapter six-MOCHA FLAVORED CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM SUNDAE WITH BANANAS AND FROZEN GAUCAMOLE ON TOP!

"Hey Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called.

"What?" Sasuke emerged from the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to his bare foot and a towel wrapped around his waist. He'd obviously just finished pondering the reason of his existence whilst in the shower and then tried to take a crap, but couldn't because Orochimaru's place hadn't had decent plumbing and the toilets were falling apart so he forgot how.

"Nice outfit," Sakura commented giggling.

Sasuke looked down and shrugged. "You've seen me without the towel before," he remarked. _And I want you to again,_ he pleaded in his head. "We couldn't…you know…. it might help the baby along."

"Fine," Sakura couldn't resist. "But first I want you to get me a mochaflavored chocolate ice cream sundae with bananas and frozen guacamole on top."

Sasuke sweat dropped. Now in her fifth month of pregnancy, Sakura was showing an unusually high interest in…abnormal foods.

"Sakura?"

"What?"

"You hate mocha. It gives you the runs."

"I don't care. I won't have sex with you if you don't get me a mochaflavored chocolate ice cream sundae with frozen bananas and frozen guacamole on top."

"I'll…er…. uh…fine," Sasuke finally gave in, his desire for pure joy overpowering his concern for the possible breakdown of the toilet.

Sasuke dragged his feet in a lazy trudge down the sidewalk toward he local store to get what Sakura had requested. On his way there, he ran into Naruto.

"Hey Sasuke!" the blonde yelled out.

"Hn."

"I thought you stopped saying that!"

"Hn."

"Well never mind. How's Sakura-Chan?"

"Whiney."

"You talked! What's she whiney about? Having a boyfriend like you?"

"Shut-up! She wants me to get her a chocolate guacamole ice cream sundae with frozen bananas and something else… Or was it a mocha ice cream sundae with guacamole and frozen bananas? No I remember! It was mocha with chocolate ice cream and guacamole. Oh and frozen bananas on the side!" Happy with himself for being so smart, Sasuke raced into the store leaving a dumbfounded Naruto in his wake.

"U-CHI-HA!" Sakura screamed. Sasuke was punched back out the front door of his house.

"Nani?" he cried "What did I do wrong?" Tears were gathering in his eyes. He suspected he'd either broken his wrist or sprained it very badly. Or both if that was possible.

"I SAID A MOCHA FLAVORED CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM SUNDAE WITH BANANAS AND FROZEN GAUCAMOLE ON TOP! IS THAT REALLY SO HARD TO REMEMBER?!"

"Yes," Sasuke whimpered. Wrong answer. BAM! Now his wrist wasn't the problem.

_There goes the rest of my clan resurrection plans_, Sasuke thought,

"NOW GO BACK AND BRING WHAT I ASKED FOR!"

"Sakura…I think you broke my wrist. Not to mention dislocated my…. _**ahem**_," Sasuke moaned.

Sakura was instantly at his side "I'm so sorry Sasuke-kun," She wailed. "I just really wanted a mochaflavored chocolate ice cream sundae with bananas and frozen guacamole on top. But I didn't mean to hurt you."

"If you write that down I'll go get it," Sasuke told her in a high-pitched whisper. "And maybe put my dick in the correct position?"

"I...um...don't think I can," Sakura replied looking at the ground.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke gasped, his voice still equivalent to that of a four-year-old girl's.

"Naruto and Neji had a really big fight," Sakura replied sheepishly. "And I used up all my Chakra healing them."

Sasuke groaned. "What were those two stupidheads fighting about this time?" he asked. He remembered Naruto being mad at Neji in the chunin exams, but he'd thought they got over that.

"Same thing as ten years ago," Sakura sighed, maybe in exasperation or maybe wondering how time had gone by so fast. "Hinata."

"What'd Neji do to her this time?"

"Nothing. It's Naruto," Sakura said. "He's finally realized Hinata's feeling for him and they were going out for a while, but then when Neji came back from his and Tenten's second honeymoon he found out. And let me tell you, Neji is _really _overprotective. He thinks Naruto will do naughty thing to her. Honestly, I don't think he could. Hinata's gotten a lot stronger. On the other hand, I'm not sure she'd mind it so much…"

"So you're telling me that you can't fix the damage _you _caused because of those two idiots and I'll actually have to go to the doctor's for the first time since I was five?"

"You haven't been to the doctor since you were five?"

"Not once. And I'm proud of it!"

"Sure you are."

"I'm serious!"

"You couldn't keep out of the hospital though could you? You're practically a regular there."

"Oh shut-up! You know that's not my fault."

"Sure it's not."

"Can't we just wait until you've replenished your Chakra," Sasuke begged changing the subject.

"You know if we wait you might have some trouble pissing," Sakura pointed out. "I mean…well…it would just be awkward…wouldn't it?

Sasuke opened his mouth, and then closed it with a sigh of defeat. "You win," he said, holding his hands out to her in a gesture of surrendering. "Do what you will with me just don't let Naruto near my corpse."


	7. Chapter 7 Many New Problems

**Ahhhh rampages of an emotionally challenged pregnant lady. Now that Sasuke has admitted defeat and agreed to let Sakura drag him to the doctors-now what happens there could get regular doctors arrested so don't try it at home! Anyway while at the doctors some disturbing news is found out about Sakura's parents DUNDUNDUN!**

_**Tory, you may think you're funny, but it's taking the attention off my story so cut it out! **_

**Someone's PMS-ing!**

_**TORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Chapter Seven- The chapter of many new problems and way too many parenthesis 

"OW! OW!" Sasuke screamed. "WATCH IT LADY!"

The doctor unfortunately turned out to be Tsunade. She had proclaimed that Sasuke's "ahem" was not dislocated (that's impossible!), but he had a minor sprain in his wrist. He yelled the whole time while Tsunade was trying to heal him, saying she was hurting him on purpose. ("Dammit woman that hurts!)

Sakura, on the other hand, was leaning against the wall, drinking (with a straw) a mochaflavored chocolate ice cream sundae with frozen bananas and frozen guacamole on top. Sasuke had insisted on getting it for her on their way to the doctor's. (Sigh he would seem nice if I didn't add that he was guilt tripped into it by Sakura's sad puppy face and other villagers glaring at him when said kunochi began to sniff piteously.) She was so absorbed in her hard labor (It was a Grande size!) that she didn't notice Tsunade calling to her.

"SAKURA!" the hokage finally yelled, punching Sasuke into a table of med supplies in frustration.

"You're supposed to be healing the injuries I have not making more!" Sasuke screamed (and I do mean screamed as in his voice went high pitched and he squeaked at the end), but both females in the room ignored him.

"Sakura," Tsunade repeated calmly as Sakura faced her with a curious expression on her features. "I probably shouldn't tell you this so early, but I want you to be prepared. Life doesn't usually give warnings, so understand that I am doing you a favor."

"What is it Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked as Sasuke yelled his head off in a random corner.

"Your parents are coming back on the second week of September," Tsunade informed her. Sasuke stopped beating on the wall and fell silent, looking up at Sakura worriedly. She had tried to contact her parents several times with no success meaning her pregnancy would be a complete shock to them and they would have no warning. Because of this, their reaction might be stronger than necessary. Sasuke feared for the possible emotional upheaval his girlfriend might have to go through.

Sakura's eyes widened slightly and she stopped sucking on her straw. Concealing her emotions quickly she motioned for Tsunade to continue.

"The said date is about three months from now," Tsunade carried on. "The baby is due in October. You can obviously guess the problem. Your parents have been absent since shortly after you became pregnant and they will return not too long before you will have to give birth. You have two obvious choices: one is you tell them as soon as possible by any means of communication you find successful or two is you wait until they arrive to tell them in person. I do not expect you to decide right away nor do I expect you to share your decision with me, but as you teacher and your friend I felt it obligatory to let you know."

Tsunade sighed as she ended and cautiously peered at Sakura's face. She had hung her head and was covering her expression with her long pink hair.

"Thank-you Tsunade-sama," she whispered, raising her head and smiling. "I don't think this will be an issue. My parents have been very understanding in past scenarios. Please finish healing Sasuke-kun so we can discus this new… situation."

Sasuke was too preoccupied to notice Tsunade apologizing to him through clenched teeth as she finished with his wrist. He was remembering a time in their genin days when Kakashi had had him escort Sakura home after she got banged up in a particularly dangerous mission. Sakura had passed out only a few minutes following their departure from the bridge and when her mother had answered the door she had hardly batted an eyelash. She didn't ask any questions nor did she seem to be aware of her daughter's condition. The next day when Sakura showed up for training none of her injuries looked any better than they had the night before and she refused to go home. Sasuke knew pregnancy was a little bigger than a few cuts and bruises but he was worried that it might have the same effect on her parents as it had before and Sakura would be disappointed once again.

"Move out of the way!" Sakura cried, pushing Sasuke aside and rushing into the bathroom,

_I thought she was over morning sickness, _Sasuke thought as the door slammed shut. Then he reminded himself that it was six in the evening; though morning sickness could come at any time, Sakura wasn't usually nauseous at all from ten am and on. Said pregnant woman had been in the middle of making dinner (because Sasuke couldn't cook) and Sasuke had been on his way to the bathroom to try to take a dump. ("Damn you Orochimaru!") They'd gotten back from the doctor's shortly after five.

There was a gross splattering plop noose from behind the closed door of the lavatory (ooooh proper word!!!!)that made Sasuke uneasy. _What the hell?_

"Sakura," he yelled, rapping on the door. There was a groan and another splattering noise. Then a stream of badly muffled swear words.

"Yes Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said as though through gritted teeth.

"Are you all right?" Sasuke called over another sick plop. He really hoped she wasn't throwing up again. He was the one who always had to clean up when she missed the toilet. I mean sure he loved her and all, but who would want to wipe up…you know.

"What's your definition of 'all right'?" Sakura asked after a long pause.

"Healthy, well, in good condition, not vomiting I don't know!" Sasuke replied throwing his hands up in exasperation. "What's wrong?"

A squelching noise answered him and then Sakura screamed, "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"

"Sakura? I'm coming in!"

"No don't! I'm shitting out my guts in here I don't think you'll want to see…oh and Sasuke-kun? NEVER LET ME NEAR MOCHA AGAIN!"  
"I won't," Sasuke was on the verge of mad insane laughter and quickly ran to the other side of the huge house so Sakura wouldn't hear and beat him into a wall for it. (Which he probably deserved.) "If I want my dick dislocated again," he mumbled darkly in an undertone.

Meanwhile the dinner Sakura had been left on the stove blew up and almost set the house on fire.


	8. Chapter 8 Questions

**It is my sacred Vampiric duty to warn you that this chapter contains seriousness, so if you wanted this to be a straight up comedy, skip this Chapter! There is gratitude, crying, loss of appetite, and talk of being old. So, yea now that the warning's over with-In this Chapter, Sakura and Kakashi have a "talk" about the newest member of the Uchiha and Kakashi helps ease a few of Sakura-chan's deepest fears! **

Chapter eight-Questions

"Sakura?" Kakashi glanced at his former student with concern on his expression. Sakura was silently staring off into space using her six- month pregnant stomach as an armrest. "Earth to Sakura? Earth is calling you. Like hello? Helllllllllllo?"

Kakashi's voice sounded so much like an old lady (or a sheep/goat) that it brought Sakura out of her trance and she actually said, "What Chiyo-basama?" 

Kakashi gave her a funny look. "I'm not that old," he complained, sounding hurt. 

"Oh Kakashi-sensei," Sakura hung her head ashamed of herself. "I was just thinking and your voice sounded a little…odd. Do you have a cold or something?" 

"No I was just trying to get your attention," Kakashi muttered. "And don't call me Kakashi- 'sensei' it makes me feel old and I believe we just finished discussing that I am not old!" They were at the Ramen stand (that has a name, but I forgot), having lunch. Sasuke and Naruto were on an ANBU mission and Sasuke had given Kakashi strict orders to keep an eye on Sakura and contact him if anything happened. Said kunochi had no idea of course and thought Kakashi just wanted to get together for the fun of it. 

"You haven't touched your ramen," Kakashi commented. "Aren't you hungry?" 

"Not really," Sakura admitted, pushing her bowl away and straightening her shirt slightly. Recently she had outgrown all of her old clothes and had had to ask Tenten to borrow some clothes that she still had from her last pregnancy. The short she was wearing at the moment was an ugly shade of light orange and had a picture of a panda bear on it. You could tell it was Tenten's. "All this thinking…it's taking away my appetite." 

"What are you thinking about?" 

"Well a lot of things really. I mean so far me and Sasuke have been so preoccupied with the disbelief that I'm actually pregnant and the annoyance of the problems it's caused, that we haven't given the baby so much as a thought. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will we be able to care for it well enough? Will we stay in Sasuke-kun' house of but a new one? What color will its room be? What sorts of things will we need? I've only got four or five months left and we need to start thinking a little," Sakura was utterly miserable. "Plus do we really want the baby to be born to an unmarried couple? Are we going to be good enough? Sasuke, though he tries to hide it, is still bent out of shape over his time with Orochimaru. In addition Itachi…is still out there and Sasuke-kun hasn't gotten his revenge. And me. I'm disorganized, violent and have an uncontrollable temper. Did you know I nearly broke Sasuke-kun's wrist a while ago just because he wouldn't get me a mocha sundae with bananas and…and… well whatever. The point is we won't be able to give this baby the love it deserves." 

Kakashi listened to her silently, sad that she has to face these problems so young. He hadn't had to that was for sure. As Sakura drew to a close, he breathed a heavy sigh. 

"You'll have to talk to Sasuke about all this. I'm no expert, but I'm sure the two of you can work something out," he advised. "As for not being good parents, everyone has that fear when they're having their first child. You and Sasuke will be able to raise this kid just fine I'm sure of it. Nobody's perfect though so if you screw up just keep trying. Naruto and I and all your friends are here if you need us, remember that." 

Sakura had tears of gratitude in her eyes. They slid down her face as she pulled Kakashi into an awkwardly positioned hug. "Thank-you so much Kakashi-sensei!" 


	9. Chapter 9 Have Faith

Hello and welcome to the story that currently has no name

**Another serious chapter-so beware and if you get too bored go skiing!! It's fun and it's spelled with too i's right next to each other!!**

_**Glares**_

**What it is!!**

_**I know I just wanted to randomly glare!! YAY**_

**O.o. scary…..she's mad one minute and super happy the next WTF?? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, in the moments that follow you will read about my worst fear….a girl talk! And if you're not going to be reading in the next couple minutes then leave you stupid head! Go, Shoo, Leave!! Get off my property you hooligans!**

_**Giggle you sound old!**_

**I am over four hundred**

_**And you look great….**_

**I know **** being a vampire will do that to a person! **

Chapter Nine-Have Faith

The problem with Kakashi's strategy was simple; Sasuke didn't come back. As Sakura entered her seventh month of pregnancy she began to worry.

"What if an enemy got him or Naruto?" she fretted.

As a response to her nervous fidgeting and torn expression, Ino practically ordered her to stop getting so anxious.

"Something might happen to the baby," she scolded when Sakura went out to lunch with her Tenten and Hinata one sunny afternoon in August. Sakura hung her head, ashamed, and began picking at her untouched salad.

"That's not going to help Ino!" Tenten snapped from across the table. Sakura shook her head and exchanged an exasperated glance with Hinata who was sitting beside her; those two never got along.

"You got a better idea Panda head?" Ino snarled. "Or is your mouth working faster than your empty brain?"

When Tenten didn't answer, Ino continued much to the dismay of the other two women at the table who were now carefully avoiding each other's eyes.

"That what I thought. Sakura's my beast friend! What do you even know about her?"

"Plenty," Tenten suddenly became quiet. "And I know exactly what she's going through. Remember last year?" Despite her cold stare, she was twisting her napkin in her lap. Ino, who was looking like she'd like to retort, abruptly closed her mouth and turned her head the other way.

Sakura remembered. Tenten had been the first of them to become pregnant, beginning early the previous year. Happily married already to her prodigy of a teammate, there seemed to be no trouble with her bearing his child. Until the middle of the eighth month when Neji was called away on an urgent mission and Tenten fell into such a strong depression when he didn't return on time that she became ill and lost the baby. Luckily Neji had come back as the illness took a turn for the worst and was able to nurse his wife back to health. He hadn't been on any mission above C rank since. Sakura tugged nervously on her shirt, another borrowed one from Tenten.

"People telling me the things like "Stop worrying, you'll lose the baby." Only made it worse because I felt guilty and ashamed of myself," Tenten finished. "And that's why I lost the baby. Sasuke-san will turn up, Sakura, have faith in him."

Sakura looked at her gratefully. She had never felt particularly close to Tenten, but to have someone place her feelings into words like that gave her a sensation unlike any she'd ever known. For the first time in weeks, she relaxed a little and allowed herself to enjoy the feel of the sun as its bright rays danced along her skin.

Suddenly and without any warning or apparent reason, Hinata burst into tears. They all turned to her in alarm.

Tenten was the first to realize what was going on ad her expression softened. "Hinata-chan," she got out of her seat and put her arms around Hinata's shaking shoulders. "It's ok…I know…I know you miss him."

Sakura understood now too. Sasuke wasn't the only one who hadn't returned…

Awkwardly, but with no hesitation or second thoughts whatsoever, she joined Tenten beside her normally quiet friend who seemed to be having a hard time calming down.

"He p-promised," she sobbed. "He p-promised-d he'd come back."

Sakura murmured comforting words in a slow steady voice in Hinata's ear while Tenten let her cry on her shoulder.

Ino got up looking uncomfortable and herded the huddle to the one stall bathroom, glaring at other customers and anyone else who stared. They knew Ino's reputation as a fiery tempered chunin kunochi and hastily returned to what they were doing. Once inside the stall, Hinata began to pull herself together.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, hiccupping a little. "I shouldn't be bawling like this. I j-just don't want to lose him after he f-finally noticed m-me." Hinata hardly stammered anymore, but on rare occasions like in the presence of Naruto or when she was upset the old habit resurfaced once more.

"I understand," Sakura said, untangling herself from the group. "I felt the exact some way about Sasuke-kun for the first year or so. But have faith in him and Naruto. They're strong. Too strong to be overcome by an enemy of any level."

With a sniff and fresh wave of tears, Hinata began sobbing again. "Thank-you."


	10. Chapter 10 Sasuke's Weakness

Hello and welcome to the story that currently has no name

**Yet another serious chapter….where's all the good stuff?**

_**Up you cold stone ass and around the corner! **_

**REEEEEEEEEEEEEALYYYYY??**

_**Yup go check!**_

**OK **

_**I was kidding!! Tory get back here….now…oh forget it I guess I'm narrating this chap. Basically Sasuke decides that Sakura is just an extra suitcase and is only dragging him down even though he probably will die without her. He's an insensitive jerk! But we love him and his hilarious emo-ness anyway**_

Chapter Ten – Sasuke's weakness

"You're doing well Sakura," Shizune said, after checking Sakura over. "Now I'm going to do an ultra sound, would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Sakura, who was laying on the examining table for her monthly check-up, shook her head and smiled. "Sasuke-kun and I promised we'd wait until it was born."

Shizune hooked up the machinery thingy and spread the cool gel stuff on Sakura's large stomach. (Most intelligent sentence in the world I know). Sakura shivered.

"Hmmm…stupid machine," Shizune said after a minute. "I can't make anything out. Must be broken or something."

"There's nothing wrong with the baby right?" Sakura cried, struggling to sit up. Everything had been a struggle lately, mostly because of the unaccustomed extra weight.

"No…well I'm pretty sure," Shizune sounded a tad uncertain. "I can't see it, but everything else checks out ok."

"I hope you're right…for your sake," Sakura said, glaring and trying to control her irritation.

Suddenly there was a commotion down the hall in the emergency room. Someone was yelling loudly; too loudly to understand what he or she was saying.

Sakura strained her ears and actually began to lean forward in an attempt to hear what was going on. She caught little bits and piece that didn't make sense, and then finally the words became clear.

"WHERE IS SHE?"

_That voice,_ Sakura thought. _I know it. _

"Sasuke stop that!" another voice just as familiar as the first, but different chimed in, somehow managing to sound exasperated, tired, and angry all at the same time.

"I'M GOING TO-"

"CALM THE HELL DOWN! SHE'S NOT FUCKING HERE SASUKE! GET THAT THROUGHT YOUR THICK SKULL! DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN UNDERNEATH IT?"

"SHE IS HERE! I CAN SENSE HER CHAKRA YOU IDIOT!"

"Uchiha," Tsunade now joined the conversation. "You're not in the right sate if mind. Get some rest and-"

"I WANT TO KILL HER! IT'S ALL HER FAULT!"

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura pushed herself up and jumped off the table. She ran (well waddled) down the hall and into the emergency room.

Sasuke was standing in the middle of the room with blood running down his arms. The curse mark was half wrapped around his face bare torso (his shirt lay a few feet away ripped to shreds), Naruto was lying on a stretcher not far away covered in blood, but trying to get up nonetheless. Sakura couldn't help but notice the strangle angle at which his arm was bent or the huge rip in his jacket that exposed a gash the length of a pencil and the width of half of a bento box. Forcing herself to turn away, she faced Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke turned and with a great swing of his arm hurled her across the room, looking pleased when she crashed into an unused stretcher. It rolled and slammed against the wall compelling her onto the ground with a sickening thud.

"YOU ARE MY WEAKNESS," Sasuke roared. "I COULD HAVE…I WOULD HAVE…you…"

Sakura crawled over to him and with a burst of Chakra to increase her strength, pulled Sasuke down to her level. She heaved him onto his back ignoring his thrashing and foul language. (She's been called worse) She got his head in a firm headlock and stared into his deep Sharingan eyes as his arms and legs flailed helplessly.

"Sasuke you are not doing anything but cause everyone problems right now," Sakura said sternly. "Naruto and I only want to be there for you, so cut the bull shit. I have no idea what happened on your mission, but you have no excuse to behave like this. Think. You have a girlfriend who loves you and a baby on the way. You have a life and friends who care about you. What reason do you have for unleashing this fury on those who are trying to help you? You are not alone anymore and I will not allow you to continue this."

Sasuke's expression went from anger to sadness to ashamed guilt and finally his eyes faded from red to black and he stopped struggling. The curse mark swirled back into place, the binding seal reappearing, and his body went limp, his onyx eyes sliding peacefully shut.

"I'm sorry," he murmured before the tranquility of sleep claimed his mind.

Sakura released her headlock and pulled Sasuke's head onto her lap, stroking his hair. "You're forgiven," she murmured. Though she knew he couldn't hear her, she swore she saw a faint trace of a satisfied smirk on his lips.

_**AN: sorry for the delay between chapters…between planning for SakuraCon 2008 and school, there hasn't been much time to work on this…the Con was awesome…I went as Tobi cuz Tobi's a good boy…anyway I'm really sorry for the wait-it won't happen again (I hope)!!**_


	11. Chapter 11 Broken Windows and Condiments

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack and there was no good stuff to speak of in my **_**BEEEEEP! **_**So where was I…chapter…..ten….no we're on eleven now aren't we…..hmmm…OH! this is the one where Naruto spills a dark secret!! Hope you love this one-I know I did Inappropriate giggle**

Chapter Eleven-Broken Windows and Condiments

Though there wasn't a scratch on him and the blood on his clothes was proven to be Naruto's, Tsunade insisted on keeping Sasuke in the hospital and here's why: his temperature was over a hundred degrees and he was more deliriously dreaming than actually awake.

Naruto was also confined to bed, though his injuries were more prominent and he was fully awake, complaining loudly nonstop. His left arm was fractured in three places and the gash Sakura had noticed earlier on his stomach turned out to be poisoned.

"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan!" he chanted as Sakura closed the door behind her. She had just been shooed out of Sasuke's room for the sixth time that day and decided to visit her other hospitalized friend.

"Hiya Naruto," She smiled, giving a half wave, half salute. "How are you today? Feeling any better?"

"Tons, but," Naruto looked sheepish. "I'm not allowed to have ramen and I kind of need to scratch my-"

"NARUTO!" Sakura would have smacked him had he not been in such bad shape already. She contented herself with hissing, "You. Have. A. Girlfriend!"

"Oh yeah," Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously. Sakura sweat dropped at the fact that he'd forgotten about his own girlfriend. _What an idiot!_

"That reminds me," Naruto broke through her train of thought, still scratching the back of his head. "Can you keep a secret Sakura-chan?"

"What kind of secret?"

Naruto grinned like the Chesha cat and lifted up the drab hospital sheet. Curled up in a tight ball and fast asleep was none other than Hyuga Hinata. Her clothes were askew, her hoar was plastered to her forehead with sweat and her cheeks were flushed violently red. Through all this, or maybe because of it, she was smiling.

"You had sex in a hospital bed?!" Sakura exclaimed, careful to keep her voice a whisper. A hard feat considering how shocked she was. To tell the truth she actually didn't know what shocked her more; the fact that Naruto had did what he did or that he hadn't got caught doing it.

Hearing her reaction, Naruto went bright scarlet and beckoned her closer with his uninjured arm, trying to avoid bumping Hinata in the head.

"She finally came to see me last night," Naruto whispered. "I can't believe it wasn't sooner-"

"Baka!" Sakura interrupted. "You just woke up yesterday morning! And Hinata was on a mission until evening. I'm sure she told you that. Use your fat head for something other than fighting!"

"OK, OK," Naruto agreed, dodging her fist and almost falling off the bed. He gave a wild cry and lurched forward to prevent his head making contact with the wall. "Don't you feel guilty trying to hurt an invalid?"

"Invalid my ass," Sakura grumbled. "You probably don't even know what that means. Anyway, getting back on track and away from your vocabulary or lack thereof, continue,"

"Oh yeah, she was really upset you know seeing me all banged up like this and when she started crying and telling me how I could have died, I let her use my shoulder cuz in that situation what else are you supposed to do? Anyway crying so much really wiped us both out and my shoulder was sore from her leaning on it, so I invited her to sit on the bed next to me. But she lay down instead and we kinda got a little carried away..."

"Please tell me you at least used…protection," Sakura begged, already knowing the answer. "Like a condom or something?

"Now where in the hospital would I get a condiment?" Naruto snapped, crossing his arms against his chest and knocking Hinata in the head. He didn't notice and she didn't wake up.

Sakura was confused. Condiment? Like ketchup? _Well it is Naruto we're talking to, _Inner Sakura reminded her. _The kid has the attention span of a fly! _Sakura agreed as she said aloud, "In the lunch room downstairs."

"Birth control in the lunch room!" Naruto shrieked, throwing his hands up. "What kind of hospital are you running here?"

Sakura slapped her forehead with her palm leaving an ugly red mark. (The sad thing is that her forehead was actually bigger than her hand! Sorry I couldn't resist!) "You said 'condiment' baka," she groaned. "But nevermind as long as you don't go around asking for condoms. You'd just better hope that Hinata doesn't get pregnant. Look where not using protection got me," she pointed to her overly large stomach.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan," Naruto grinned. "Hinata-chan wouldn't get as fat as you. Hell, I don't think anyone could!"

"NA-RU-TO!!"

And that's how Naruto ended up sharing a room with Sasuke because his window was broken.

**Yeah….I really don't know where this came from……………..**


	12. Chapter 12 Mission REVEAlED!

**This chapter is only semi-serious so I think it's gonna be a good one!**

_**What do you mean? All my chapters are good! **_

**Of course they are!! Heheheheheh…it's just that I'm especially fond of this on because Naruto talks about the disastrous events of the perilous mission he and Sasuke went on together!**

_**Hmmmm that's too many big words for Tory to handle in one sentence…me thinks you're an imposter….jump attack**_

**AHHHH!! Lynnie calm down! I was reading from the script!! Dammit down girl!**

_**Me thinks you're lying!!**_

**Yea well "me thinks" that you should stop eating so much chocolate!!**

_**Are you calling me fat?? Me thinks you are!**_

**No, I'm calling you INSANE!!**

_**gasps TAKE IT BACK!!**_

**Neva!! OW!! Owie! Fine I take it back-owwww! Lay off the effing spikes lady!! It takes me five hours to get my hair like this! OUCH!!**

**Holy-censoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensored **

This is the fanfiction hotline speaking-we hope you enjoy this chapter :):):):):):):):)-**one more smiley face and I'll come and kill you-**…………………:(…..**Sand Coffin! **That wasn't a smi-**BEEEEEEP**-This hotline has been disabled due to mysterious death threats…:) :(

**Chapter Twelve****-**_**The Mission….REVEALED! **_

"Owie," Naruto whined. "Sakura-chan, it was a joke. You didn't have to throw me brutally out the window. Hinata-chan nearly had a heart attack I hope you know (see he does care about her…!) And I could have died. I might anyway. I mean of all rooms in this huge hospital why am I stuck in Sasuke's room!"

"Quit being so immature," Sakura snapped from her reserved place beside Sasuke's bed. "You landed on Kakashi-sensei for Pete's sake so if there's anyone who you should feel sorry for-it's him! Not to mention you were only two stories up and came out without a scratch on you! Unlike some of us." She glared at him and brandished her bandaged hand as evidence of the glass that had cut into her flesh when the window had broken. Luckily the guardrails of Naruto's bed had protected Hinata and the earth-rattling noise had woken her enough so that when two nurses came running in, nothing looked suspicious. Well unless they noticed the bright red shade of her skin or her lack of shoes.

Kakashi had been playing up his role as a dutiful former sensei on his way to visit his students in the hospital when suddenly a piece of the sky landed on him, nearly breaking his neck. The piece of sky, which happened to be Naruto, was followed by many other smaller and sharper chunks of sky that had nearly cut off his head. He was now in a dark emo corner of Sasuke's room mumbling about how god had forsaken him and how much his back hurt. (I can see Sempai doing this….) "Owieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," he would burst out the rare few seconds that Naruto and Sakura weren't bickering. (that too!)

"I do too have a scratch!" Naruto argued in response to Sakura's last comment. "It's just in a place I don't generally put on show for the whole world if you know what I mean. (I bet Hinata would know where it is though…) And who's Pete?"

"That would be classified as too much information Naruto," Sakura declared. "And "for Pete's sake" is a figure of speech!"

"And figure of what now?"

"You bak-"

Sasuke groaned a little in his sleep and all squabbling was abruptly halted. The room became quieter and quieter until the only noise besides Sasuke was Kakashi's dark mumbling. Sakura took a washcloth from the bedside table, wrung it out, and wiped sweat off Sasuke's forehead. He relaxed instantly, her touch soothing his pain.

As Naruto looked on from his bed, his expression hardened unexpectedly. "I don't feel sorry for him," he announced, his voice bitter.

"Naruto," Sakura stared at him in surprise. She didn't remember him ever sounding so sour.

"He's a jerk Sakura," Naruto continued. "I hope you know that your baby's gonna be an unfeeling asshole."

"Naruto," Sakura repeated, her tone changing to sound stern. She couldn't grasp how his mood had changed so rapidly or why he was starting in on Sasuke in such a harsh manner. It sounded like more than the normal petty insults they normally exchanged.

Realization dawned on her like a sunrise except faster. "Your mission," She said slowly. "Something happened on that mission you guys did together."

"The mission," Naruto's eyes rolled skyward. "There was nothing wrong with the mission, Sakura-chan. It was easy. So easy that by the second day we'd been gone from Konoha, it was over and all we had to do was make our way back without running into anyone. Smooth sailing until we got separated from our group. Lucky I suppose. They were all killed you know. Tsunade's med Nin's found their bodies just yesterday," Naruto spoke with heavy sadness in his voice. "For most of them it was their very first ANBU assignment. God, fate can be cruel."

Sakura didn't like the way her teammate was talking. She had never known him as one to complain about fate though if anyone had the right too it was him, considering how his life had turned out. Despite her ill-ease, Naruto went on, oblivious to everything except his story.

"Anyway, we weren't all that lucky after all. Kabuto found us lost somewhere between the village next to Konoha and Konoha itself. As you can probably guess, all hell broke out. We were no match for him even using a combined Chidori-rasengan attack," Naruto paused for a moment as if preparing himself. "Then Kabuto caught Sasuke in genjutsu and in the back of my head I knew it was all over for us. I don't even know what kind of illusion it was, but I've never heard anyone scream so loud in my entire life. There was nothing I could do to break it-Kabuto had me paralyzed with that stupid poison. I couldn't move an inch. By the time the effects dimmed down enough for me to move, Kabuto was gone and Sasuke was in a state similar to what he's like now. He remained like that for a few days and I was scared to move him-like I could anyway."

"An Anbu team found us eventually and escorted us back to the village but just as we were reaching the hospital, Sasuke woke up and attacked me. He was saying awful stuff, Sakura, about us and the team. But mostly you. And how weak his love for you made him. He deserves no more sympathy than a fruit fly," Naruto finished, his hand clenched into a fist.

Sakura was about to say something in Sasuke's defense, but the door swung open and Hinata stumbled in. She saw Naruto, went bright red in the face, and attempted to walk back out.

"Oh no you don't," Kiba (I wuv Kiba!) came up behind her; his hand on her back, preventing her from exiting the room. Akamaru, huge and fluffy, panted in after him. He was closely followed by the rest of rookie nine (Shino and Ino's team), plus Neji, Tenten, and Lee. Even Gaara, in town to visit Temari and her recent husband Shikamaru, was there. His siblings stood to either side of him.

"Surprise!" about half of the group exclaimed.

Naruto forced a smile on his face as everyone crowded around his bed with welcome-back gifts, questions, and potato chips (Chouji…). Sakura smiled also and, after a brief greeting, excused her self to Sasuke's bed.

**A/N: There! I had a little oops moment in this chapter but now it's all better! Thanx again to MisoGirl for catching that! To any other reviewers, I really appreciate when ppl catch my mistakes so that I can fix them and make the story better so don't be afraid to point them out to me!! Also srry about the uber long intro-Tory was a little excited!**


	13. Chapter 13 Hospital Life

**It's time to PAR-TAY YEA!!**

_**Shut-up you sound like Deidara!**_

**Right I gotta keep it short this time cuz I got spank-I mean in trouble for the length of the last narration. In this next little segment shinobi from all over Konoha and part of Suna are invited to a party in a hospital! What will the end result be?? Oooo I'm dying of curiosity! **

**Chapter thirteen-**_**Tsunade the scary hag of the Hospital! **_

Somewhere in the middle of the crazy party being held in Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto's small hospital room, Sasuke's eyes fluttered open and he consciously took in his surroundings for the first time since his arrival at Konoha Hospital. And his surroundings were very odd indeed (**it sounds proper teehee**).

Sakura and Ino were arguing hotly to one side of his bed, the skinnier of the two throwing her long hair over her shoulder so that it almost hit poor Sasuke in the face. He rolled out of the way just in time, but the scent of her many perfumes almost killed him.

Gaara was leaning against the wall with his arms locked across his chest and his trademark scowl firmly in place as he watched his older sister engage Shikamaru in a make-out session so intense that no one could call said shinobi lazy ever again. Kankuro was sampling something that vaguely resembled a potato chip on the other side of the room and didn't notice his sister's activities. This was good because he probably would have ripped Konoha to shreds. (_**He needs a girlfriend-I volunteer!**_)

Chouji was sitting on the floor by the window, eating as expected and trying to dodge Tenten who was doing some weird version of the chicken dance overhead. Her husband was in the corner with Kakashi, deep in conversation, pretending he didn't know her.

Kiba, Lee, and Shino were having a drinking contest (don't ask where they got the alcohol), swaying to some imaginary music while Akamaru yapped at their foolishness. They were also singing Kisame's favorite song-I'm Blue by Eiffel 65. On their right was Naruto in a hospital bed, covered in bandages, and missing a shirt. He was talking to a blushing Hinata, who couldn't stop staring at his….chest.

_What's going on? _Sasuke wondered. _How long have they been…partying? How long was I asleep? I hate waking up with questions! _Deciding that it would be better not to be awake when Tsunade found out that her hospital had become host to fifteen wild, partying and possibly drunk Shinobi, Sasuke closed his eyes.

Unfortunately they were forced open a moment later when there came an ear-splitting cry of, "OUUUUUUUUUUUUT! I WANT EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A MEMBER OF SQUAD SEVEN OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL BEOFRE I COUNT TO ONE! THIS IS NOT A NIGHT CLUB PEOPLE, IT'S A HOSPITAL!"

Tsunade stood in the doorway as the inhabitants of the room filed out and anyone she thought was going to slow or stalling, she slapped in a very uncomfortable spot. Then she slammed the door so hard it was reduced to a whitish powder and turned on her heel to face them.

"What is the meaning of this?" She shrieked, her hair standing on end. "What the hell is this?"

"I-I h-had a f-few visit-visitors," Naruto stammered, looking to Sakura for back up. Sakura nodded fervently in agreement, hoping to ease her mentor's mad mood.

"A few huh?" Tsunade was calming down, though her voice was still bitingly sarcastic. "Look I'll let you off the hook because I can't hurt you when you're already in such bad shape, but I'd like you to kindly remember what I'm about to tell you for future reference. THIS IS MY HOSPITAL AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU MESSING IT UP!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama," Naruto and Sakura bowed respectfully though Sasuke saw they were still shook up pretty badly.

Just as he was beginning to untense his muscles and relax a little, Tsunade strode over to his bed, bent down, and whispered, "That goes double for you Uchiha!"

Pause. "Get the hell away from me," Sasuke snarled, turning to stare her down with his infamous Uchiha glare.

Sakura twisted around with a comical expression on her face. "Y-y-y-you're awake!" she gaped. Pushing Tsunade out of the way, she scrambled to his side, hugging him, feeling his forehead, checking his pulse, and fussing over him in a manner that quite frankly scared the crap out of him.

"Sakura," Sasuke half-laughed. "Down girl, I'm fine."

Sakura stopped her scrambling and brushed his bangs out of his face. "Not quite yet," she murmured, leaning in and connecting them via lips. Soon her tongue was pushing eagerly on his lips, demanding entrance to his mouth. _Pushy, _Sasuke thought, stretching out contently. He had missed this.

_**Tsunade's scary, ne? **_


End file.
